competition in kids

Hey, I'm back as promised. My daughter has just finished her last dance competition and I'm moved to write about competition in kids. I write about hockey, a competitive sport, and I'm an extremely competitive person. I always have been. This is not something my parents instilled in me, in fact, it was something they tried not to instill in me. My father was probably the least competitive man I've ever known. (My husband is Pres of Hockey Canada sooooo....I married Mr. Competitive). He was gentle and beautiful and let everyone else around him be competitive. So how did I end up this fiery little thing that absolutely wanted to win at everything and cried when she didn't. Yes, I had to learn how to control my emotions, that horrible gut-wrenching feeling I got when I didn't win. I remember running a race in public school. The 100 hard dash they called it then. My lane was muddy, it had rained the night before. I was slotted to win but when I took off, my shoes became heavy with mud and I fell behind. I remember crying about how unfair it was. My friend from school who I always beat, won the race. She was happy. I wasn't. I was mad. Now, as a parent, I have to sit in stands or in the audience and I feel that same gut-wrenching for my children. I want them to win. Okay, so with hockey you win or lose because the puck goes in the net or it doesn't. But in Dance and Singing (the arts) it's all up to judges. Wow is all I can say. So many times as a biased, competitive parent, I think my daughter or daughters because my oldest sings in the Kiwanis Music Festival, should have won. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. I get in the car and say, "You should have won that." Whichever daughter will look at me like, "Moommmmm." I don't think either one possesses my over-the-top competitiveness and I'm glad and wish I could be like them. I think they're more sane about it than I am. They deal with it with more control. I don't think their skin boils like mine does. It itches but it doesn't boil. But why is that? Have my hubby and I taught them that. Yeah, right I think. Both my hubby and I are the youngest and we both are the same. So I dont' think so. My son, the baby, rants and raves like I did. So why was I born into a non-competitive family, a total competitive person? Okay, so I believe in competitiveness though. I think without we have mediocrity. A part of me says to my kids, get mad, get angry, and get out there and show them you're better than that. But you know I think I've learned so much from them. Yes, get out there, and get better at your craft and your art and your game, but do it how you're doing it, in a controlled, methodical manner. I've taken up golf and it drives me insane when I hit a bad ball but I have to control myself and talk to myself. I've learned from my daughters, I think. My son throws his clubs and reminds me of me at that age. That's what I would have done. ( I used to tip over the board in games with my brother until he wouldn't play with me anymore.) Now, I'm able to talk my son through his competitive anger and tell him it does no good. And he calms. Sometimes. And I still clench my teeth sometimes. But I'm better. I know I've rambled. It's Saturday morning and I'm still thinking about how my daughter should have won last night but....... Who says we can't learn from our kids. I learn every day.

Time/MVP books

Hello, I know I haven't posted in a long time but...where does the time go? I know, an old cliche, but the older I get the faster time seems to move. I remember being a kid and thinking time moved too slowly, except when summer holidays rolled around. And summer is soon upon us, again. Another year of school almost completed. My oldest going into grade twelve. Last year she was in grade one. Time is strange and I'm always baffled about how important it is to all of us. How often we look at the clock in a day. And how we use the word for many different things. Like--What time is it? Or...speaking of time, I had a great time in Kelowna. Since I last posted I took a trip to Kelowna for a hockey tournament. The organizer, Mike Rout, decided to order my books for MVP awards. After every game a player from each team was picked. The books were a huge success and I'm thrilled. I wasn't sure how the hockey players, mainly boys, would react to getting a book instead of a medal. But they were excited! This is a great plug for literacy. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm actually doing anything to help the world but then after this tournament I think I might be. Yes, I sponser two children with World Vision, but hey, I'm not a movie star and I haven't adopted a child from Vietnam and I don't sit on the board of the UN and I haven't yet been to Africa or Mexico to build a school or house. (My daughter has applied to do this with the Free the Children organization and this is something I've always wanted to do but am totally encouraging her to do.) The big things seem to pass me by, because...back to time...I'm still at home raising children and trying to write books and stay afloat. A part of me says, excuses, excuses. But then, after this tournament,I think, maybe I am doing something by encouraging kids to read. In my small, small way maybe I'm a tiny, tiny cog in the wheel. When the kids came to me with excitement in their eyes to get their books signed my heart swelled. And not from ego but from a small sense of purpose. I think we all need a sense of purpose, even if it is a small token towards helping society in a positive way. We can't all be movie stars. But we can recycle, we can turn off our lights, we can smile at people, we can something nice to someone and make their day. And I think, even if we can only do the small things, we can do them with pride. Have a great day everyone and I promise to blog more often.